Its been so busy here, but thought I'd pop in while the chiln's are watching americas funnies videos on DVD and eating their sunday night ice cream and graham crackers. Even N is sitting and eating/ watching a little. 

I was able to get a microwave today at a thrift store! 10.00 yay! And it works lol I made my chocolate flax muffin I LOVE it! I've gotten it down to tasting like a chocolate cake, and only 125 calories its AWESOME. 

3 T egg whites

2 T ground flax

1 heaping T cocoa pwd.

1 heaping T splenda or ( I use) Organic zero

1/2 t baking powder

mix well with a fork in a coffee cup and put in a microwave for 1 min. if you have a tiny microwave with less power like my 'new' one, it took 1 min 30 sec.  I love this with lots of sliced strawberries... and at only 150 cal ( with strawberries) its the perfect desert

Nadi has been having good and bad days. She will get really dysregulated and I'll rock her while she cries because she realllly doesnt want to be rocked, she prefers to rock herself, alone. But once she calms down its really nice, and she becomes regulated and interactive in a ways she is not normally. She has been being her 'animal' self more lately, and it takes quite a bit to snap her out of it. Lots of rocking lately too. I hope its a sign of progress? I changed her necklace so we could see what the new one looks like in 7 weeks.

We leave for our trip in about 4 weeks I cannot wait to be there.. but a bit worried about N on the trip we usually have a blast although its long and hard, btu she hates the car.. so we'll see. I am doing my best to give her options for release and it seems to help. But taking her out of the home shes become acustomed to may throw her off a lot. But I plan to keep her with me most of the time, Rick is fixing my ergo.. or I will .. he got me the parts today. The man at Michaels gave him the strap from the shopping cart! how nice of them lol

I found a bean bag chair at a thrift store I am SO excited I wanted one because it needs to be in my 'sensory room' I'm setting up for N. At walmart they are 50 for a vinal cheepy one. I found a NICE poof chair that sells online for 240 for ..... drum roll...... 15 dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im soo excited. its huge and comfy.. she doenst use it but thats besides the point lol. today I got a hammock for 5.00 she seems to like that!

She likes playdough too. Shes not been using her hand to bite and calm herself. I've noticed this more the last couple days. I've also bought a 'wig cap' that is like a pantyhose cap, and put it on her head to keep her from pulling her hair she doesnt like it all the time, but most time shes okay with it and shes been pulling at it less. even while sleeping. Last night midnight she slept and then got sorta woke up and just laid there and fell back to sleep without her thumb even!! 

 Im reading a loooot again.. my dad sent more books ( THANK YOU) and Ive been devouring them!!!!

This seems pretty random, sorry... Im off to San Fran next weekend for an attachment training I cannot WAIT.. I like Eric Guy ( centerforvictory.com)  and I have soo much to learn... then  off to GA in 4 weeks. WOW... lots to prepare for!! Mostly my N girl and my food plan lol.  Rick bought me 2 whole bags of Organic Zero today. wow cool! I use it for my muffins and stuff. 

I also invented some low gl and lowest cal granola I could make... and eat it with fruit and greek yogurt every morning I just LOVE it.. so working on things I can bring with me and keep me on track... 

well better go get littles off to bed... 

ps Prayers would be appreciated, I'm praying about, and working toward nursing N I think it would help bonding, and calming her nerves...